A Song of Inexplicable Popularity (from 1978)

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CHUBBY LOVELESS


Chubby Loveless, with legs so stubby,
Dreams of becoming an airline stewardess.
But her mirror tells her she’s too damned tubby,
And the airline doesn’t even have her address.
Nobody likes to look at Chubby.
She gets the feeling that her life is useless,
And the men she knows are too damned grubby
To suit the taste of Chubby Loveless.

Chubby Loveless is frequently snubbed
She’d like to send out an SOS
For the ladies to invite her to join their club,
Before she drowns in her loneliness.
Chubby munches an Italian sub
Then tries to swallow her distress.
She waits for the bus and stoops to rub
The ankles that hold up Chubby Loveless.

Chubby Loveless prays for a lover,
A gentle man with a soft caress,
A sensitive man, who might uncover
Inside of Chubby the little princess,
Her daddy’s girl, who longs to discover
The magic that happens when people undress,
A loving man who would never shove her around
Or make her feel loveless.

Chubby Loveless is a lady in trouble.
Her mirror tells her that her hair is a mess.
The alarm clock rings and pops her bubble.
She scrawls on her mirror that more is less.
She stares into the eyes of her double,
Then walks to the closet to pick out a dress
For another day of wading through the rubble
Of the burned-out-life of Chubby Loveless.

Chubby Loveless looks at her tummy
And her waist that will be forever be hugless.
She sits with her mother playing rummy
In her life that will be forever loveless.
She’s her daddy’s girl and God’s little dummy.
Though her red lips ache to say “yes”
To another world, no matter how crummy,
That would love little Chubby Loveless.


Words and Music by Galen Green c 1978

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